Author: admin

The shop was an important part of my life with Sue. As a dietician she was always keen for us to eat healthily and in sourcing foods came across a healthfood shop in Southport. How the conversation arose I don’t know but it turned out that they were planning to go big by franchising their operations, centering around the brand and their repackaging machine. They wanted to try out the franchise in Preston which suited us geographically and meant they could deliver stuff easily. They had premises in mind and just needed someone to take it on.

I wasn’t enjoying my job and had no clear career in mind so running a shop together seemed a good thing to do. We needed money, so we put the house up against a loan and borrowed £5k from each of our parents. (Except that when push came to shove, her parents denied any promise of any money so we were £5k short). I would do day to day and she would do Saturdays and ‘consultancy’. We took on the lease and the Millwheel guys converted the shop. Except it was a lot more work than they imagined and it cost more – which we disputed with them. Bad feelings started. We opened. It all worked nicely around a very busy sandwich trade at lunch time, we had our own baker who worked hard to give us quality stuff and a nice lad supplied fresh veg. I took on staff including Heather who although very helpful, resourceful and hard working, was very domineering.

After about 6 months Sue started to loose interest and stopped coming on Saturdays so often. She was also pregnant. I found it hard to not work on a Saturday, and we were open 6 days a week. Phase II was to have a cafe, which we opened after about a year and the same week Anthony was due. Heather ran the cafe, but paid no regard to portion control and was very difficult to manage, and cost me a lot of money. The cafe conversion was never finished properly and we had trouble paying, to the extent that I didn’t pay Millwheel due to cash flow issues for a while. Their accountant was scrupulous and when Millwheel cash flow stalled ( because of me) he declared the company bankrupt. This left me with no supplier, but the opportunity to buy bankrupt stock. It was a bizarre situation. I found suppliers and carried on. Heather left and I had to take over cooking as well as bookkeeping, buying, cleaning etc.etc.

We got a bigger loan and better overdraft but were slowly going under. I had the business valued. It didn’t cover our debts. I asked to buy out the lease with a mortgage which would have saved money, but was blanked by the landlord. I put the business up for sale. as a break even price. There was some interest, and a couple of guys looked into it further. Turned out they were sponsored by Greggs who were looking for a health brand. They bought the lease out from under me and became my landlords. They offered me a very low price and threatened me with put and keep clauses in my lease which would cost a fortune. I took legal advice an sued the estate agents who advised me over the lease. I gave up and sold for £7.5k, owing £35k plus £7000 overdraft to Barclays Bank. I spent the last few days selling everything ( even knives and forks) and knock down prices for cash, so I could pay creditors and walked away on May 25th 1986, just short of 4 years since I opened with about £10k cash. I also owed VAT, and possibly tax but had hardly taken a decent income in ages.

I paid the baked and the grocer and had been dealing in cash for other supplies for a while, and other creditors, like Rentokill, and rates, I let take me to court, then asked for time to pay. I ended up with 3 county court judgments against me, but it saved the cash for more serious issues. I had baliff’s at the house, taking ‘walking possession’ of the things they could see through the letterbox (not legal). I never spoke to Barclays. At some point I had got a letter from them limiting their hold on the house to £1000, so they could only take that from me. I borrowed £1k from my dad to pay that so the house was safe, and we couldn’t be evicted.

The VAT inspector came. I knew I owed him but my accounts were an awful mess as I had lost motivation to keep up to them, so I had a mad panic to get something straight. It was very stressful. He came to the house. I showed him my books. He looked at the whole time the shop had been open and found VAT I could claim back, but also assessed other claims as invalid. I ended up owing £1750, but he took my books away to come up with a final bill. I never herd from him again, and about 6 months later, my books appeared in the post, not stamped or validated or signed off, just packed up and posted. I never paid my VAT bill.

I got a job in the NHS, paid my monthly county court judgments ( which was a chore but had to be done, because you had to go to the court with cash). Time went on. Things seem settled. We lived in a very ordinary 3 bed semi on an estate. We wanted a grand Victorian terrace house with a garden. We found one, sorted a mortgage and arranged to move. The day before removal day, the solicitor rang to say where’s the £35k? She said I’ve got all the money in place except the £35 k for the charge on the house from Barclays. I rushed home and even though everything was packed in boxes I found the letters which showed that Barclays didn’t have a charge on the house. The solicitor agreed, told Barclays, but they wanted and agreement to pay the £35k. They offered to settle for £5k. I agreed to pay within 6 weeks. We moved. I got in touch with the mortgage people and asked for £5k to do the kitchen. Showed the quotes from Magnet and Southern. Bought an IKEA kitchen for £600, and fitted it myself. I had £5k paid and paid Barclays off. No more debt. County court judgments took a bit longer but eventually I was clear. I write all this now quite easily, but at the time it was incredibly stressful. I mean incredibly. Really really bad. AND I kept a lot of it from Sue and most of my friends and family, but some guardian angel was looking out for me. I had been bankrupt. We could have lost everything.

And all the time on and off, Sue was having an affair, I was working on myself in a therapy group and life went on.

Before the end with Sue, there was Julia. my relationship with her lasted 2 years, much of which was conducted over the phone, with her living in Brighton. I felt a moving on, and after the summer camps, I wanted something before Autumn came and at the last minute booked on a weekend in Roeburndale called Despair and Empowerment. I took my drum and a sleeping bag and the weekend was amazing. It was about how we can do our bit for the environment without getting bogged down in our despair because of the state it is in. BUT there was this lovely tall blonde lady, who was obviously quite keen on me too. We did some of the exercises together and agreed to meet after the weekend. We met for a pint a couple of times and I invited her for a meal at my house. Jacqui came ready to stop over. She did! We had clicked. We started seeing each other regularly. She had a daughter who was a little older than Ant, and although he was accommodating of our new relationship the daughter wasn’t.

She rapidly made it clear she already had 2 dad’s and didn’t want another. Her natural father lived in France and didn’t see much of her, and Jackie’s ex had fill a father role for the intervening years since Jackie came back from France where she had lived for a while.

Generally we had a nice time, but the daughter occasionally kicked off and took a good deal of settling down. She defined her own bed times and food choices. We had a couple of trips to France without Ant, and went to some camps without daughter. Daughter got more and more difficult and I got to a point of not enjoying it all so after nearly 4 years called it a day. It was a big event as many of our friends didn’t see it coming and thought we were a big thing. I don’t think I saw it coming either really. The night it ended as I got in the car to go to her house, I had the thought that I’ll either ask her to marry me or I’ll dump her.

There followed a period of one nighters and random meetings from phone dating to fill the gap and one of those was Julie who lived in Hebden Bridge. I saw her for about 6 months until I realised that she was drinking a lot more than me and some of that in secret. We had a planned holiday in Ireland for a week in a cottage and ended up sleeping in different rooms because she stayed up very late getting drunk. When we got back I said we couldn’t go on like that and dumped her.

I had already me Sandra at DCN that year but nothing had happened. She wrote to me and I wrote back and after a while , with Christmas and letters going astray, we met up and the rest is history.

I started my job with Rockware Glass in September 1976 with a couple of weeks management training and then projects at their various factories and the finally a proper job, but in St Helens. Not exactly where I’d planned to end up – a grotty northern town, but hey ho! I found a horrid little flat and had my first very cold winter there. I was up and down to Guildford regularly, then my car died, and I had to use the train. I was very naughty and left early to catch the train from Lime St station in Liverpool.

I bought my first house 82 Waterdale Crescent and also bought a Triumph Spitfire. I proposed to Sue in November 1976 with a view to getting married when she finished Uni. A weekend relationship was not easy for us, especially as I was missing Uni life. Work was a chore

Sue graduated and we married on September 8th 1979 in Leicester. She got a job in Ormskirk as a dietitian. We bought a house together in Ormskirk and moved just before Christmas 1979. We enjoyed our life together and joined Rotaract Club and I joined Ormskirk Cycling Club. Rotaract was junior Rotary and we did charitable things with a good social life and made some friends. I started racing again and did quite well in some events, but eventually had to stop when I knocked my front teeth out when I skidded on ice. I met Ron who was starting out with Triathlons and we trained together.

A year after our honeymoon we had a lovely holiday in Crete, but when I came back I was made redundant. (Thanks Maggie Thatcher). I did meals on wheels while looking for a job and was only out of work 4 weeks before I got an R&D job at Turners Asbestos factory in Widnes developing non asbestos re-inforced cement. I never understood the job properly but muddled along with no career plan in place.

Sue got involved with some guys from Southport who wanted someone to run a health food shop in Preston as a franchise. Stupidly we took it on along with loads of debt and anxious parents.

Anthony came along. I remember the moment when I couldn’t be bothered to get a condom, knowing the risk, and being delighted when Sue was pregnant. I was not sure she was so pleased. She applied for and got a District Dietitians post in Lancaster. We moved on my birthday when Ant was 6 months old. Sue was still on mat leave but was also postnatally depressed so delayed her start date whilst we found a nanny for Ant. The move gave me plenty to do with getting the house ice and running a business. We opened a cafe as well behind the shop and I employed 7 part time staff.

We moved to Sheffield (44 Montrose Rd, Eccleshall.  Phone 53098). My sister was new and my mum was quite ill afterwards.  I was sent to stay at my Grandparents (mum’s parents) in Thorne near Doncaster for long periods. My relationship with my grandpa was very important to me.  He let me “help” with jobs he worked on. He built bikes and was practical. He died when I was 8 and I dont think I was allowed to cry much when he died.  Looking back this seemed a key moment as I dont remember being emotionally present at any other event in my life for a 30 years.  It wasn’t anything dramatic.  Just looking back I don’t remember feelings about things – like getting excited about holidays or worried about school. I just did stuff.  

There were things I remember – birthday parties where I lost the plot seem to feature.  There was one where my dad turned the pin a tail on a donkey board upside down when it was my turn.  And another at out favourite picnic spot in Derbyshire where things weren’t going my way (cant remember the detail) but I got into a terrible temper.

I also remember hard snowy winters and queuing in traffic to buy me a sledge which I kept into adulthood.

I went to Miss Mease’s preschool and won a prize for reading – a Brenda Bear book, which I later scribbled in and my mum was so cross she threw it at me.  I remember my first day at Holts House Infant school walking down what seemed a very long tree lined drive next to Nevil Hinchcliffe who’s birthday was the same as mine.  Which is interesting because Anthony started nursery on the same day as Bobby Carter who shared the same birthday and Ant.  There was a guy at school called Barry Groscott, who was an early victim of Thalidomide and wore a plastic arm which he used to slip off and wave a stump at us in the playground.

At the bottom of the garden lived the Gardeners! Pam and David with children Nick and Diana. Diana was about 3 weeks older than me. We played a lot together. Mum continued to be Pam’s friend until she died in her 90’s.

I was knocked down by a motorbike when I was 6 or 7 crossing the road opposite our house without looking properly. Mum was away and Dad watched it happen. I was OK!

I remember rollerskating and having a scooter which I attached cardboard faring to after a trip to Oulton Park to watch motorbike racing.

My junior school was Carterknowle Junior.  I remember segregated playgrounds and entrances and Margaret Drabble who was taller than me.  I was 4’10 aged 8.  We move to Lincoln in November of my second year.